sebastian-cock:

My talents include being able to identify every one of the 5000 songs on my iPod by the first chord and eating more than the rest of my family combined

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giraffepoliceforce:

If people are really going to assume that guys with long hair are gay and girls with short hair are lesbians then I am going to assume that all bald men are actually eagles.

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axto:

aleetlepinch:

I’m so sick of people thinking they can just waltz into my room when I’m obviously listening to music in 4/4.

I just wanted to reblog this again because I find it inordinately funny.

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I would sleep much better with you next to me.

(via iamcharliesangel)
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